"Every new beginning..."

"...comes from some other beginning's end."  Closing Time, Semisonic

I thought it was pretty fitting to start off with my senior quote from my high school yearbook.  Six years ago, I would never have dreamed that I am where I am now, closing one chapter and ready to begin another.  As I sit in our humble little cottage at the beach preparing for my last day of work, I am thinking about all the great memories I have made over the past 16 weeks and what a wonderful, indescribable, eye-opening experience this has been.  I only think I've said it about 100 times, but I learned invaluable information about myself and the world and have had some of the best moments of my life here.  Life as I knew it is dead and gone and I'm leaving here is such a different state than when I left.

I think the hardest part about leaving here is facing reality.  I'm ready to leave the island, but I'm not ready for all the responsibilities that come along with an independent adult.  I'm not ready to leave my safe little bubble at H3.  The second hardest part about the end of this internship is leaving the 3 girls who have kept me sane over the past 4 months.  Without the other interns, I probably would have fallen apart long ago.  We quickly learned that we roll "4 deep" and I'm lucky to have had these girls around through this experience. We've not only had some great nights at the Triangle, but movies, wine and gossip at the cottage, inappropriate but hilarious conversations around the dinner table, and other unmentionable adventures along the way.  We joke that this situation was a little like the Real World -- girls from all over the country thrown together and hoping for the best.  We live together, work together, eat together, and go out together.  Spending so much time together could have been disastrous, but somehow it worked and I'm lucky to have found friends in these girls.  I've also learned a lot about myself and life through being around them and conversations we've had.  It's so hard to imagine waking up on Monday morning at my parent's house and not seeing Samantha curled up with Pandy or having our morning conversation over breakfast.  I will especially miss the mornings playing catch-up after a night of going out for "one drink".

We're going back to our respective parts of the U.S. over the next few weeks, but we've got big plans for yearly reunions.  Until then, here's to you girls ;)

Panic mode

11 days. That's it. This time next week I'll be packing up, teaching my last few classes, & saying my goodbyes. I'm not gonna lie -- I'm freaking out. It's almost as if time is speeding up & everything is spiraling out of control. So much to do over the next few weeks & not nearly enough time to get it done. If only I could press pause or slow things down a bit just so I can catch up & keep my head above water. If my adult life is going to be spent playing catch-up from the get-go, then I'm content to never grow up.

But I'm ready. I'm ready for things to start falling into place. I think the most stressful thing at this point is the uncertainty of where I'll end up. My plan was to have sort of job lead by the end of this internship, but as of now, it looks like everything is still up in the air & I'm going back home for a while. I've been applying to jobs, but lately I haven't found any positions that I'm qualified for or that I'm really interested in. It's definitely not for lack of trying -- I'm wracking my brain & spending hours upon hours wading through the world wide web. I know the "economy is tough" and I need to "be patient" but it isn't helping ease my stress any. I'm so thankful for friends and fellow interns who send jobs & ideas my way. Every little bit helps, so if you've got ideas or connections, I'm all ears!

Where did the time go?

I've known all along that my days here were numbered, but the past 14 weeks have FLOWN by! I think I've been in denial about leaving, but I have to face it now that I've only got 2 weeks here. In the next 2 weeks, I've got to accomplish A LOT: finish an evaluation of the employee wellness program here at H3, deal with everything school-related that I've been putting off (namely the presentation I have to make on what I've accomplished here), get ready for hooding, a beach trip & a friend's wedding, and figure out my next step on the job front.

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."

I mentioned this quote in a previous post.  My mom emailed me this when I was having a really rough day and the words just spoke to me.  I don't think she realized it had such an effect on me, but these words continue to echo in my life.  I realized a few weeks ago that I don't want to go back to the upstate. I kept grinding at the job search, but neither Greenville or Spartanburg ever made it to the "location" box on any of my searches.  I think it all started with a conversation with one of the culinary interns about a possible job in New York City.  It sounded so amazing and I realized that I want that for myself -- a job that I love in a new, fun city.  Essentially, an offer I just can't refuse.  For those of you who know me well, you know this is so unlike me.  I have never been the type of person to just pick up & go.  Everything in my life requires methodical planning and change is not something I adapt to very well.  However, I've been writing about how much I've learned about life, myself, and the world as we know it, and I've come to the conclusion that it's time for me to do something new.  I'm ready for a big change.  I'm ready to see what life has to offer, where I will end up, and what kind of contribution I can make to society.  I'm ready to soar.

I've also learned a lot lately about the person I have been, the person I am, and the person I want to be.  While the idea of moving to a city where no one knows me is a bit intriguing, I've come to the conclusion that I have to know me.  I have to figure out who I am as an adult -- especially since I may not have people around who just "get me."  I don't want to be the kind of person people forget.  I want to live every day in hopes of making someone else's day.  I want to be a servant of the Lord and mankind and take happiness wherever I go.  Somehow, I've gotten so lucky lately to have people come into my life who make me want to be a better person.  Their attitude and outlook on life is so infectious.

The road ahead is quite scary, but I'm comforted by the fact that everything does happen for a reason. I've been looking for and applying to jobs in Nashville, Charlotte, and Atlanta, which is both nerve-wracking and exciting.  No bites yet, but I'm keeping and open mind and my fingers crossed.  Things may or may not work out the way I want, but I'll end up exactly where I need to be.  That's the beauty of this ride -- everything serves as a learning experience for what's to come and everything will fall into place just how it's meant to.

Having fun, while we're still young & beautiful

I know, I know -- it's been way too long since my last blog post. I've been extremely busy with my final project, searching for jobs, and a lot of soul searching. I joke that this internship basically turned my life upside down (mostly for the best), but I'll save that for a later post.

The other girls & I have been doing a lot of celebrating here lately. I thought I hung up my party hat, but I think we all got hit pretty hard with the realization that we're being pushed out into the real world sooner than we might like, and we need to live it up while we can. The past few weeks have been filled with bachelorette parties, a last-minute trip to Atlanta to see DJ Pauly D, St. Patrick's Day festivities in Savannah, my birthday, Ashlee's birthday, and now my 2 "moms" are here for the week to vacay with me.

We've had a blast & created some incredible memories along the way. I'm thankful for my time on this crazy island & the chance to just live before I have to do that whole responsible grown-up thing.

The bachelorette crew with the band

DJ Pauly D. 

Party crew in Savannah

My parents had cupcakes delivered to me! Vegan, of course.

Flowers for the birthday girl.

Starting off birthday celebrations at Frosty's.

Ashlee's birthday -- we needed another excuse to visit our friends at Frosty's.

The J Squad

Mama P & me

Footprints on the Heart

Thank you. To everyone who I've crossed paths with over the past 11 weeks: Thank you. I'm a firm believer that everyone who comes into your life, no matter how long they stay, leaves footprints on your heart. I am so grateful to those of you who encouraged me to explore job opportunities in Nashville & Atlanta; those of you who have helped me realize my potential; those of you who spoke wisdom & kindness when I needed it most; those of you who inspired me to be a fitter person; and of course those of you who pressured me into going out dancing on a Monday night when I had a 6:30 wake up call on Tuesday -- it was so worth it. There are also people who have stepped into my life that I'm not entirely fond of -- but I'm thankful for them as well for showing me what not to do. Some people may never know the ways in which they've shaped my life & how I view the world. That's unfortunate, but I will always remember.

The other interns & I became pretty close with a younger guest who was here for an extended stay. She was such an inspiration & I'm so thankful for the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people here. She gave us these bracelets as a parting gift.

It serves as a reminder to remember who I am, why I am, where I am, how I got here, and how I'm going to grow in order to get where I'm going. For each of those things, and each of the people involved in every step of the way, I am grateful.

My Vision

This week, there was a lecture offered called "Re-inventing Yourself." Of course I planned to go -- I've been making a lot of realizations this week so what do I have to lose by doing a little more soul-searching?

We started by brainstorming how we want to feel about different aspects & relationships in our lives and then cut out pictures and words from magazines that capture those feelings. It's basically a media portrayal of my vision statement I made a few weeks ago. As if I haven't said it enough, I feel like 2012 is really my year to be the best me possible and it's also a year of big transitions, so my board definitely reflects that.

Are you on the right course? Don't ignore the signs. "I know it's hard to reconciled. Not everything is exactly the way it ought to be. But please turn around & step into the future. Leave memories behind & enter the land of hope." (Zbigniew Herbert) Sound mind, sound body. I realized today is the day I write my own story.  The movement ignites hearts and inspires emotion. Finding peace in a frantic world. An orchid in full bloom. Your fittest year.  The new me.

Becoming an adult in 6 weeks

Well, it's official:  6 weeks left to go!  It's hard to believe how fast the time has gone by.  I have learned and experienced so much over the past 2.5 months and in 1.5, I'll be forced out into that thing everyone calls the "real world."  With that said, I've been doing some job searching and, naturally, freaking out a bit with all that entails (Many thanks to those of you trying to keep me sane during this process!).  But more on that later ;)  In less stressful news, I have decided on a final project to work on over the next few weeks!  I'll be working with the Marketing Coordinator to evaluate & improve Operation Health, H3's employee health program.  I'm very excited about working on this since many of the jobs I'm looking into deal with corporate wellness.

The past few weeks have been jam packed:  Ginna, one of my best buds, came to visit, then I had a visit from my parents, we celebrated Fat Tuesday, had an awesome weekend with the lovely Lauren Spires in Charleston, and this week the other interns and I painted at a local studio and we are planning a bachelorette party for this weekend.  It was so awesome seeing my friends and family.  Mardi Gras was a much-needed event -- we decided to get off the plantation, let our hair down, and celebrate in Fat Tuesday style.  My trip to Charleston last weekend was a bit of a last-minute one, but so worth it.  Lauren and I had a long-overdue reunion and I was more than ready to get off the island and just let down.  I was so glad to just spend some time with her and enjoy good food and drinks.  How lucky I was to find Lauren all those years ago on Craigslist! Glad she didn't turn out to the be Craigslist killer ;)  We tried out a restaurant called Black Bean Co., which further ignited my dream of someday owning a vegan restaurant.  We also ate at Triangle, one of Lauren's favorites.  It's easy to see why -- check out my veggie burger and sweet potato fries (with apple butter!).  I also got to meet some of Lauren's Charleston friends, including the lucky man in her life-- shout out to Dana, my new favorite person!

The lovely Ginna Goode & me

Me with my parents atop the HHI lighthouse

Mardi Gras goodies

Reunited with my bestie!

Vegan cupcake from Black Bean Co.

Making veganism sexy -- one veggie burger at a time!

My finished mermaid from Artist Uncorked, a BYO painting studio